Regrets
by hahalolsmileyface
Summary: She knew that leaving him would break his heart and it hurt her more than anything that it was a necessary decision. She had to leave him. She had to make him hate her because soon... the cancer would take her. She didn't want him to go through that... It was better he hate her than hold on.


A/N: i know. I know. I shouldn't start another story on here until I got the rest of my stories good but I'm at a serious writer's block that I will not be able to get past for awhile now and I apologize deeply for that.

i'm also starting a new ff because i miss writing and this story... it kind of hits close to home... So i really needed to write it. Im hoping to make this story only 6 chapters at the very max. Not too much of a plotline, not too long. I really hope you enjoy this and it gets the emotions across :) sorry! And once again thank you!

happy holidays everyone!

until next time :)

**MARCH 12, 2017: So I decided to give this story some polish and loving. Noticed some mistakes and I've been meaning to fix it up :) And since I've gotten so many requests I'm considering a sequel. It's not a sure thing though since this story was originally meant to be by itself. There probably won't be any major changes. Just a little fixer upper but I don't know yet.**

* * *

Chapter 1

"It's acute myeloid leukemia."

Sakura thought she felt her heart skip a beat. "Are you sure?" Her voice wavered a bit at the end.

The doctor couldn't quite meet her eyes. "It's terminal. At this point, even with treatment, it would be a long shot."

"How long do I have?" she asked softly.

"Without treatment... I can only say a few months. Four at best. With treatment we could push it to-"

"No."

The doctor was clearly startled. "But-"

Sakura stood and raised her hand with a blank expression. "There's a reason I came all the way from Japan to America to seek out a medical diagnosis." She smiled weakly but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm a medical doctor myself. I know the chances of surviving at this rate are... low. Although I had my suspicions..." She shook her head lightly and sighed. "Well I just wanted a second opinion. Thank you for your time."

The doctor stood, obviously wanting to say something but she spoke before he could start. "Please. I'd rather be the only one to know of this. Doctor/patient confidentiality and all that."

As she made her way to the door, he spoke. "Don't you think you should give the treatment a try? It really is in your best interest."

She could hear the confusion and slight irriation in his voice. She paused. "I know the odds. I won't survive." And with that she exited the room.

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright? You've been so pale lately and you look tired." Ino tried to put a hand up to her best friend's forehead but Sakura waved her away.

"You know how I overwork myself." They were currently eating lunch at the deli across the Konoha Hospital, Sakura poking absently at her salad while Ino questioned her on different things of daily life. "It's only natural to be tired."

Ino frowned at her friend's aloof behaviour. Since she came back from that medical lecture in America, she's been a bit dazed. As if she were off in another world. It was uncharacteristic of her, since she was usually so sharp, alert, and energetic.

But then again, these past couple months she had been a bit fatigued. As her best friend, Ino had been concerned but as usual Sakura only waved it off saying it was her workaholic behaviour to blame.

_Acute Myeloid Leukemia_. Sakura picked at a piece of lettuce on the edge of her plate. _Symptoms include fatigue, fever, shortness of breath, easy bruising, and a higher risk of infection. _Sakura set her fork down and stared out the window they were seated next to. _Loss of appetite, weight loss... God, I should've caught this earlier. But now it's too late. _She closed her eyes. _What will I tell him?_

"Sakura!"

Her eyes snapped open and she turned her attention to the blonde across from her. "Hm?"

Ino frowned. "You've been really spazzy lately. I asked you how things were going with you and Sasuke. You guys are still going strong right?"

Sakura beamed tiredly. "Of course! We're supposed to be going on a date tonight." _What will I tell him?_ At this, her smile faltered and her ever-vigilant friend caught it.

"What's wrong? You aren't lying are you?"

Sakura blinked at this and laughed. "Don't be silly." She said but she didn't say anything more to assuage her worries.

_What will I tell him?_

"We should get going. Our lunch break's almost over." Ino stood and collected her things, even going so far as to throw Sakura's uneaten salad away. "And Sakura," she grabbed her friend's arm before they could head out to be the doctors they were paid to be. "I know something's wrong and... as your best friend I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. Anything at all." Ino gave her a meaningful look and Sakura widened her eyes before nodding with a bright smile.

"I know. And I thank you so much for it."

And she meant it. It took everything in her not to cry. _What will I tell Sasuke? _She asked herself brokenly as they made their way back to the hospital.

* * *

"You look beautiful."

The compliment fell out of Sasuke's mouth before he could stop it and it took Sakura by pleasant surprise. "Really, Sasuke-kun you should tell me something I don't know." She teased and Sasuke grunted, turning his head away so she wouldn't see the smallest of smiles present on his face.

He walked her out of her house and opened the car door for her like a gentleman before shutting it close behind her and heading over to the driver's seat. He observed her closely as he started the engine. She really was beautiful. She had dressed in formal attire because he had decided to take her out to a fancy dinner to celebrate their five year anniversary. He could certainly afford to since he was the second son of the founder of Uchiha Inc.

Sakura's pink hair had grown out to just beneath her shoulderblades even though tonight it had been pinned up in an elegant updo. She was wearing the necklace he had gotten her for their one year anniversary. Her makeup was done to accentuate much of her facial features. Her floor-length dress didn't hug her body too tight but tight enough so that it left room for minds to wander.

Yes. She was breathtaking; she was his. But there was something off.

Her green eyes that usually sparkled with life were almost — dare he say it — dull and her skin which normally held a healthy glow was a bit fairer than he was accustomed to seeing. Even her cheeks which were usually so plump and adorable looked a bit... gaunt.

He pulled out of her driveway and started on the way to the restaurant he had reserved two seats for. The drive was quiet aside from the occasional remarks and comments.

It didn't sit right with his gut that someone he loved and cherished seemed so down. Maybe it was work. Sometimes she threw herself into helping her patients so much that it was almost unhealthy. Or it could be that her lecture in America went slightly downhill. He had definitely noticed that in the last couple months she was becoming more and more tired. Maybe she was coming down with the flu. It would certainly explain why she's been off lately.

They pulled up in front of the restaurant and Sasuke got out and opened the car door for his beloved. She smiled sweetly at him and he tossed the keys to the valet. Another attendant opened the doors for them as they entered. The place was grand for sure. Perhaps too grand for a restaurant but Sakura couldn't help the look of awe in her eyes as she took in the golden decor and the classy style to it. "We're eating here?" Sakura asked and Sasuke only nodded.

He put a hand to the low of her back and guided her to the hostess who, upon hearing the name of 'Uchiha', immediately beckoned for them to follow her to their reserved area. It was a secluded spot in the back and Sasuke nodded in approval. Once they were both seated, a waiter immediately came and placed a menu before them.

Sasuke ordered some wine that Sakura, for the life of her, could never remember while she opened up the menu. The waiter mentioned that he would be back and left the two to decide on their dinner.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun." His eyes flickered briefly to hers, signaling she had his attention. "I..." she trailed off. _What will I tell him?_ "What do you plan on getting?" she smiled.

Sasuke shrugged minutely and scanned the menu. There was definitely something off about her. Maybe he shouldn't have let her go to America after all. "Is there anything that you want?"

Sakura closed her menu and set it down. "I want what you're having."

"You always want what I'm having," he pointed out.

She beamed at him. "I know."

Sasuke shook his head, his eyes softening at her response. The waiter came by and jotted down their orders before taking their menus and leaving them to wait for their food.

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed before Sakura broke it. "Sasuke-kun?"

He looked up.

"I... want to ask you a question."

He sipped his wine and waited.

"Do you think you could survive without me?"

He stopped sipping, his sharp eyes bore a hole into her own. Sakura fiddled with her fingers nervously and averted her gaze. There was a noticeable tension as Sasuke slowly set his glass down and gave a blank stare.

"What do you mean?" he finally asked.

Sakura let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and met his unnerving eyes once more. "I mean," she carefully worded. "If I were to... well, be gone-"

"Be gone?"

Sakura winced at his tone. "No just forget it."

"Sakura," he gave her a pointed look.

"It's nothing. I've just been a little out of it lately," she explained helplessly.

"Is somebody threatening you?" She could see his hand clenching the neck of the wine glass a tad bit too tight. She was scared he'd break it. "Are you in trouble? Do you need some help?"

"No." She shook her head and gave him a pleading look. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to ask." She took his hand and squeezed. "No one's threatening me. I'm not in any trouble." She smiled reassuringly and she watched as he slowly relaxed his death grip.

"You're sure?" He looked at her, the concern fallible in his voice. She gave him an adoring smile and leaned over the table to kiss his forehead. He looked away, giving a brooding glare at the wall and she giggled at the light tinge of pink she caught creeping up his cheeks.

"So how was your day?" She asked and they started a conversation on the little things in life. The food came quickly — because no one ever kept an Uchiha waiting — and they ate, keeping up the small talk over dinner.

Everyone around could see the glow that surrounded the couple who only had eyes for each other. Sakura's laughs rung gaily in the air while Sasuke's little gestures of acknowledgement were an obvious tell that he felt something deep for the girl behind his cold exterior.

When their finished plates were cleared away, Sakura sighed in satisfaction and actually felt a bit sleepy. "Sasuke," she yawned softly. "-kun," she finished apologetically and Sasuke understood that tonight, her energy had been spent.

He silently got up and circled to her side where he lifted her up bridal style and started his trek out. He ignored her quiet shrieks and whispered protests and the guests around them hid their giggles and smiles behind their hand. By the time he had made it outside, Sakura was laughing full-heartedly and smiling at him with endearment and... Sasuke caught something else in her eyes but it flashed by too fast for him to really pinpoint what the emotion might've been.

They were just outside of his car now, Sasuke holding Sakura still with Sakura's arms looped loosely around his neck. Their eyes met.

"I love you so much, Uchiha Sasuke."

The fact that she said it so seriously wasn't what caught him off guard so much as the fact that she had said his whole name. He frowned just a bit before returning the sentiment in his own typical Uchiha way.

"Hn."

It might've sounded cold to anybody who didn't know his tells but Sakura had known this boy her whole life and she could see the affection in his eyes just as well as she saw the little tilt of the corner of his lips.

He tucked her into the passenger seat and he walked around to his side of the car. He turned on the engine and looked to her, asking a silent question.

Sakura looked thoughtful. "Let's go to your place. For tonight." She looked back at him and he nodded. Sakura settled back into the seat and only after being on the road for a minute or two, Sasuke had noticed that she had fallen asleep.

The trip was short — he was a speedy person — and when he turned off his car, he looked over to his beloved and saw how peaceful she looked. _She must have had a really long day today, _he concluded and he decided that he wouldn't wake her up.

He unbuckled her seatbelt and for a moment — just a moment — he saw her face under the moonlight and for the millionth time since he'd fallen for her, it took his breath away. He leaned over the console and gave her a whisper of a kiss along her forehead.

Sasuke exited his vehicle and went around to Sakura. He opened the car door, carried her small form, and closed the door again with his foot. He noted as he walked to his house that she felt a lot lighter than he remembered. He didn't notice before but without the distraction of _her_, he observed this unusual fact.

Though she didn't seem like the type, he hoped she wasn't starving herself. He did notice that at dinner she hadn't eaten much but he opted not to point it out. He hadn't wanted to ruin their wonderful evening together by mentioning something that was merely suspicion, not fact.

When he was finally inside the house, he made his way to his room and placed his Sakura gently on his bed. He unzipped her dress and took it off. His pace was unhurried and although under another circumstance had she been awake and willing he would've been more than happy to please her and make physical the love that they both shared, he did not. He only thought of her comfort as he slipped her feet out of her heels and pulled on one of his shirts over her head and around her body. It made her look strangely adorable since his t-shirts were oversized on her. He tucked her in and was just ready to leave when a hand grasped weakly at his wrist. He looked down at the appendage and looked back at Sakura. He saw that her eyes looked tiredly up at him in a pleading manner.

"Will you stay with me?" she whispered softly and Sasuke paused for a moment before giving a consenting nod. She let go and scooted over as he stripped his jacket, his tie, and his shoes before slipping under the covers next to her.

He opened his arms invitingly and she snuggled up next to him, releasing a content sigh.

"Thank you," she whispered softly into the darkness and Sasuke just nuzzled his nose into her hair, falling asleep with the smell of Sakura in his senses.

"And I'm so sorry."

Had Sasuke not fallen asleep so fast, he would've been awake to hear that damning sentence. Little did he know, this would mark the beginning of an end that would break him.


End file.
